| One of my mental coaching students, Joe (not his real | | | | playing sports half as much fun for many athletes and |
| name) had a unique gift (or so he thought). Since he | | | | causes some to drop out of sports. |
| was overly concerned with what other people thought | | | | Caring too much about what others think comes from |
| (coach, teammates, parents, spectators, etc.) about his | | | | the phenomenon called social approval. Social approval |
| performance, he often engaged in a process I call mind | | | | is defined as the need to be confirmed and validated |
| reading when performing. | | | | by other people. In today's society, many athletes learn |
| While Joe was mind reading, he made assumptions | | | | *mind reading* when peer approval and gaining |
| about what others were thinking about him. He literally | | | | acceptance are primary motivators, especially for |
| thought that he could tell what others were thinking | | | | young athletes. |
| about him. Joe’s hidden agenda was to avoid | | | | Let's face it, we want the respect from our peers. |
| embarrassment, to not make mistakes, and have | | | | And, whether you’ve been an athlete for 5 years |
| others think he was a good athlete. | | | | or 35 years, the fear of letting others down can lead |
| This preoccupation with mind reading what others may | | | | to tentative performances! That's why helping athletes |
| be thinking about him caused him to play cautiously and | | | | learn how to play without the fear of failure is so |
| avoid mistakes. He was plagued with thoughts such | | | | important. |
| as, “The coach will yank me from the team if I miss | | | | How can an athlete be taught to focus on what's |
| an open shot!” or “My team will be disappointed | | | | important, rather than mind reading or focusing too |
| in my performance.” | | | | much on the fear of failure? I start by asking my |
| Joe's performance suffered because he did not allow | | | | students an important question, “Do you compete |
| himself to perform freely without the fear of failure, | | | | for yourself *or* do you compete to gain respect or |
| fear of disappointing others, or fear of making | | | | approval of people around you?” |
| mistakes. | | | | This is a tough question for some athletes to answer. |
| Joe is not alone. In fact, many athletes hinder their | | | | Many find it difficult to admit that they compete |
| potential by focusing too much on avoiding mistakes | | | | because they yearn for the acceptance of their team, |
| and not embarrassing themselves. They think it is | | | | parents, coach or spectators. |
| better to play it safe than risk embarrassment or | | | | However, the bottom line is that if you want to |
| disappointment. | | | | harness a zone focus and perform at your best, you |
| While no one wants to feel embarrassed or get | | | | cannot care about what others think about you and/or |
| benched by the coach, avoiding mistakes and playing | | | | your performance. You must learn to overcome mind |
| safe are huge distractions to athletic performance, at | | | | reading and fear of failure. |
| the very least. This type of thinking actually makes | | | | I help my students achieve this in many ways. One |
| athletes perform worse, and then realize what they | | | | way is with my teleseminars. For example, one class I |
| feared might happen. | | | | teach is, “Everyone is Watching Me! How to Stop |
| Ultimately, the fear of failure can cause athletes to | | | | Worrying about What Others Think.” I cover the |
| play tentatively or defensively and actually hinder their | | | | techniques needed to stop worrying about what |
| ability to succeed. This state of mind certainly makes | | | | others think to create a stronger mindset. |
